Dear Expecting Mother

Dear Expecting Mother,

I know how nervous and excited you must feel. I know you have so many questions and I’m sure you wonder, like I did, if you’ll be up to the challenge.

I want you to know that your little babe will fill your heart with a love you never knew existed and bring you so much light. Maybe not at first, you may even have very dark days at first, but one day, I promise you, your little babe will look up, not so little anymore, and smile at you, and you will look back at the moments that have passed and know that some how, some way, you made it. No. You didn’t just make it; You took that challenge and you flew! It’s magic, I promise. 

Just hold on tight, your light is coming!

Mamas, what’s your advise for all the expecting ladies? Comment below!

📸: https://instagram.com/innercurator?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=1p38jvg6mdpdx

September: NICU Awareness Month

September is NICU Awareness Month, so I’ve decided to share a video of Momo’s graduation day!

Born at 29 weeks, Mohsen spent 6 weeks at the NICU. He graduated on 23/12/17, just in time for Christmas, weighing 2kg & 14 days apnea-free! This was the scariest day of my life. No one talks about this; about leaving the NICU..

When my water broke at 27 weeks I had no concept of baby. I thought perhaps I would miscarry, but it didn’t scare me. Every night at the NICU, I felt he was being taken care of by the best in the region & that helped curb my fears. Sure, there were scary days, but NOTHING can compare to the day we had to take him home. If you listen closely you’ll hear me suggest bringing him straight back up! 😂

There was a strange comfort in hearing his monitor beep & watching his oxygen levels on a screen. Daily weigh-ins gave me security. Then suddenly he’s all ours. We have to take him home, with no monitors, no nurse, no tubes, nothing. Just Momo. 

Safe to say I didn’t sleep for weeks. He slept well, of course; he has his dad’s genes ☺️🤷🏻‍♀️ but I couldn’t close my eyes. I would watch to make sure his little chest was moving up and down & wonder when I would stop worrying. I obsessed that he had no lashes & was cross eyed. I devised a system to weigh him every morning (which made me crazy). Nothing could have ever prepared me for this journey. NICU doesn’t always have a happy ending & we are blessed Momo was such a fighter. 

For NICU parents, here’s my two cents:

Trust the process & learn to accept your fate. It’s not what you would have chosen, granted, but you get to watch a little miracle grow outside of your body & that’s a true blessing. Trust your nurses; they really will give you everything they’ve got when they know you’re on the same team. Love your baby & celebrate him every day, no matter how hard that is to do over the beeps & tubes & all the stress. Hold him & practice kangaroo care whenever you can. Holding your baby is medicine; your love will heal.

So here’s to the heroes that are NICU babies & the patient parents that help them on their journey; it gets better, I promise 💜

#nicuawarenessmonth #ourlittlemomo

Hey Mo!

On November 3rd at 5am my water broke at 27 weeks of pregnancy. With a combination of medical excellence, patient care and incredible amounts of love and support my husband and I held on tight. On Saturday November 11, we celebrated 29 weeks. Baby gave me as much as he could and at 9pm he was ready to start labor. It was long and lots of hard work, but my birth was incredible. It erased all the pain before it. Thanks to the medical excellence, personal involvement and care of my incredible Gynecologist, I have a beautiful birth story that I’m so eager to share every time I see my friends. On Sunday, November 12, at 1:14pm our baby Mohsen was born at 29 weeks plus 1 day. Today I face the greatest challenge of my life; to go home and leave Baby Mo behind at the NICU.
I write this as it is my therapy to gather my thoughts as I start a new chapter. I write here, because throughout my journey I have had shining stars that have shared their own experiences with me and in turn helped shed some light on what felt like a long and dark tunnel. By sharing our stories, we assert that it is ok to have moments of weakness, it is ok for our plans to detour and it is ok to need a moment to breathe. It is ok.
The NICU is a difficult place to be. There are so many challenges my tiny baby faces, and there is very little that I can do. But there are also highs. Access to the region’s best neonatology care. A doctor I love and trust. The first time I was allowed Skin to Skin. The first time pumping worked. The first time I saw Mo’s eyes open. Every time I hear his cry. Small little things to hold on to. These little things keep me positive and strong. It’s going to be a long wait, but it will be worth it. I’ve created a nice schedule that will help me stay sane over the next few weeks. And then, inshallah, he will be ready to come out and meet you all! From what I know so far, Baby Mo is going to be a handful, so I hope you’re all ready for our boutique to get a little noisier and a little rowdier when he comes home ☺️
My little, tiny fighter. As fierce as he is small ?
Yesterday one of my dearest friends said to me “let go and let God”. Today I will let go, and I will let God. ?

CookieDough
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